The Decision has been made

I applied for the Master program for this fall, but will be going part-time as not to kill myself doing so.  Another note, lost the car dealership job and am now working at a kids store, which I have to say is definitely better than the previous.  I love it, the people are nice, there is very little pressure, there isn't a huge amount of crap expected of me, so really it works out.  Very happy.  Anyway, for now that's it.

Masters Cont.

So if you know me you will know that I have been having issues with the current school I am attending.  Mainly that I feel somewhat stifled at Aurora.  I have found that there is a severe lack of passion at this school, and if you know me then you would know that I am all about the passion.  So a Masters is offered  at UIC and Aurora, and i can go to both at the accelerated pace, which means if I go fulltime I would be done in a year, part-time it would be 2.  I would be 30 when I graduate, now while that isn't a big deal for most, it kind of is for me.  My life has been off course since I was 21 and definetely slept with the wrong man, though I must say Brad is amazing and I wouldn't trade him for the world.  I love Brad, and I love Nathan, and I just want to be a family.  It would be nice...well we shall wait and see.

To go for a Masters Or to wait?

I have been in school now for three years, and finally graduate with a Bachelors in May.  While I am excited to be done, I am wondering if I should proceed immediately into my Masters or wait a year or two.  The problem with waiting is if I wait to long will I ever actually go for my masters, or will the opportunity pass me by?  I wish I could talk to Nathan about this, but the reason I can not is because we don't even know where we are going. This is a giant source of frustration for me because I want to know where we are going, I am inherently a planner and want to make plans but how do you make plans for a future you don't know will exist.  Like if I were to plan without considering him, and then he really makes the decision...ie proposing, to be in my life forever, then what, do I have to rework my life to suit his or does he have to rework his to suit mine?  If he reworks his will he resent me or will everything sort of work out in the end. The issue with the Masters is even if I wait I don't want to wait forever, only a year or two tops, because if I wait any longer than that, there will be children to consider and marriage, and a home, and everything else that life may throw at me, and I don't know that I can handle that and a Masters, but then will he be able to handle the fact that he would be the sole supporter of our family while I pursue this degree.  I guess I just wish I knew what the future had in store for me.

The pending decisions:

My boyfriend and I are discussing moving in together and have talked about not living in IL any longer.  Both of us are going for degrees in the Human Services field and with all of the budget cuts, we are finding it looking bleaker and bleaker here.  I graduate this summer with a Bachelors and he graduates next winter with his Addictions Certification.  We are both passionate in our fields and really want to work within our fields, but currently it just does not seem to be possible.  I have been interning at the most wonderful place, but am well aware of their limitations, though I hope that there would be a way to create a spot for me.  If this happens, then of course there is no way I am leaving.  I just want to be somewhere with good schools, and if I'm going to leave IL then I am definitely going someplace warmer. 

My other issue is leaving my family behind and how this will affect my sons already strained relationship with his father.  I certainly wonder how this will all affect him and the potential issues that could come from this.  Again, these are just things that I am currently thinking of.  I really just would like to be with my honey and my son in a place that I can finally call home and feel is my home.  I want a dog, and eventually more kids, and to get married, though certainly not all in that order.  It would be nice to have these things, but it still will be quite a wait.  That's all for now.